Today is Good Friday...

So here's a quandary... I'm spiritual but believe in God/Jesus.  Why you ask?  Because I actually "met" both at one point.

I was 18 at my favorite church camp for a week, but they made a change that year by allowing instead of 9-12 grade to include 7th & 8th.  Not that it was a "bad" thing, but the camp that year vibe had changed.  Many of the younger crowd didn't understand how this camp worked and how those of us who had been here for years got a chance to show our spirituality without any repercussions from anyone else.  You were free to be you and worship and give different ideas.  Great, great camp that I still remember fondly.

The new people were almost rude to those of us who had been there for years.  They were even bordering on rude to the Minister/Director and Counselors.  One of the favorite past-times was in the evening to have a bonfire at the beach of the lake.  Here we got to do our ministry.  Sing songs, talk about God and Jesus and mainly share our love we had for each other.  The first one we had, the new kids were not paying attention, were not sitting down with us, in fact a few were some feet away from where the majority of us were.  You know it was bad, when the Director asked me if I had any ideas.  Which of course I did.  I had this song (non-Christian) that was so on point with the spirit of the camp, so I ran up to get my tape recorder (yes I'm dating myself) quickly taped me playing the song and then ran back to sing it to everyone.  Believe it or not, one by one the new kids came to the bonfire.  Tears running down their faces and on ours.

So the Director decided we needed to go up to meet at a place in about 10 minutes for a big group hug.  I don't know what really happened from that point, because here I brought them together and all of sudden I'm shunned (or my perception).  I went somewhere else to figure out what was happening inside me while waiting for someone to come grab me for the circle.  No one came.  For some reason I was despondent.  This had happened to me my entire life ... bringing people together, but being on the outside.  At that point in my life, I was done with it.  I figured life would be better without me and looked seriously at a way I could just end my life.  We had this tire hanging equipment and I figured I could untie and hang myself.  As I'm planning this, I hear a very loud and loving voice.  Said one thing to me.  "Wait".  I'm like wait until when?  Then I heard "Give it a day".   There are no words to describe the feeling that voice brought to me .. I mean I was in tears it was just so loving.  I knew at once that was God.

I walked back to the cabin where everyone was talking about how great the hug circle was and no one even noticed I wasn't there.  I did give it a day.  Luckily for me, someone "new" found me and became the ear I needed to get all of the sadness out.  And as you can see by me writing this.. I'm still alive and kicking :)

I didn't know it at the time that I had these gifts, but looking back, I'm sure I just was way overwhelmed by all the emotions and didn't know how to shield/ground or any of that and being an empath, over loaded.

I've had turbulent times later on, but I still remember how that voice was and I could feel God's Love for ME.  So I know God loves us and wants only for us to live life and be all that we can be.  I can also relate in losing a child, so the courage it took for Jesus to die for us and God's love to bring him back.  It's just a gift.  Appreciate not only this weekend, but for all time.  Know that God along with others around here on this place we call Earth are here for you.  And for anyone that is thinking of taking their own life -- talk to someone -- anyone, someone will listen and understand.  Most people if they looked at me, would never believe my thoughts ever went that direction.  But you can't judge people by a cover.  And if by chance you're reading this blog entry -- feel free to contact me.  I am ALWAYS willing to listen and not judge.  Everyone should have at least one person in their life that is like that and guess what, besides me -- God and Jesus along with a host of angels and guides are too willing to listen and give you unconditional love. <3

Mind if I complain?

OK, I so need another vent.  The past 2 weeks have been trying.  I had my youngest get the flu.  My husband get diverticulitis.  Snow days in March.  Husband putting together our new kids bookshelf and not throwing box (etc) away.  Having inspections done on the cars and one didn't pass and had to try and schedule it in to be fixed while I was home.   Husband putting together the new futon couch and leaving me to move the old one away.  Helping out at church and seeing how disrespectful some of the kids are to others.  Having to review co-workers CBT and making a ton of comments on something that shouldn't have been that bad before I reviewed.  And now capturing the piece he "didn't understand".

So this morning, I am truly feeling all that has happened in the past few weeks.  I'm sore from lifting the old bed/mattress and moving the couch where it should have been.  Then lifting my almost 3 year old daughter in and out of cars, into strollers or seats.  I so can't wait until she can walk on her own.

I have to be organized at work.  It's my job and I need it to support my family.  With 3 kids you have to be somewhat organized, but I had hoped to have the hubby take it over for the house, because he's the one at home with "more time".  But here I go again.  Having to do it all.

My parents are coming for a visit in about a month.  My house is a PIT.  I'm not just talking messy (with 3 kids and 1 big one hard not to be) but DIRTY.  My husband things a few hours on a Saturday he'll be able to get it all cleaned up before my parents get there.  Which wouldn't be bad, but he's a packrat.  He can not get rid of ANYTHING.  So here I am trying to purge kids toys, my old books, clothes, basically anything we haven't worn in 2 -3 years, seen or not attached to personally.  I remember being the packrat, I remember how hard it was to get rid of things.  But seriously, if you haven't seen it, used it in over 6 years, it's time to get rid of it.

I, in the past, would just clean up the house.  I can say I've done it 4-5 times (full clean) since we've lived there (going on 7 years).  But the moment I get it that way, everyone (mainly hubby) comes behind and messes it up again.  I work 8-12 hour days (depending on projects going on), commute anywhere from 1-3 hours one way and then come home to have to do that?  Come on!

So, I'm hoping just by getting out and letting it go.. I can move on and try and bring the positive to me and hopefully something will change.  For the better... I might add.

Life gets hectic..

with 3 kids, 2 cats, a hubby and a full-time job and commute.  So as much as I love to blog about my life and/or spiritual things sometimes life just overtakes us.

For me to actually blog about something, I often have to have the time and a little quiet to actually write.  I can't tell you how many times I start something and get interrupted and then when I go back I'm trying to figure out where I left off and can't do it.. that train has left the building :D  So I end up deleting that draft and sigh and go onto another one another day.

So, it's been busy couple of weeks.  All spiritual stuff has been left in left field, as much as I wanted to do it.  About all I've been able to manage is the self-healings with Reiki that I'm supposed to do.  Thank God they only take about 5 minutes to give, not sure I had that much time to spare.   I did one in the car today, one on past lives.  The last few I've done, haven't had many things come up that I could "see".  Can't say that my emotions aren't all over the place they are.  But today, it was different.  I did the Reiki and I got a glimpse of a past life.  OMG.  Such an experience.  I was a priestess of Isis in Egypt times.  So, I need to do some research into that era, what I've found so far is this:

"many of them were considered healers, and were said to have other special powers, including dream interpretation and the ability to control the weather,"

Which is interesting, considering I heal.  Can't say I do anything with the weather, though I seem to predict it pretty well and dreams.. well I don't really have any.  I apparently help others while sleeping, so I don't get to remember anything (darn it!).  

But the images that flew at me were so great.  I haven't really had that experience like some of my friends, I mainly see colors and hear.  Was it a great past life -- well apparently I self-sacrificed myself and I actually heard, "You have such great faith daughter.  You will be rewarded"  Am I excited.. heck yeah!  I have always been drawn to the Egyptian culture and movies.. I mean The Mummy is my favorite movie (with Brendan Fraser & Rachel Weisz)

So as much as I want to go fast with my spirituality, it appears it will be small steps for me.  I asked my guides why all my friends get these wonderful vivid experiences and I don't?  What I got back from them was "You're too busy."   Gotta love my guides.  Like I don't know that :D

Automatic Writing

I know somewhere I had posted about trying my hand at automatic writing.  Well, it's not going as well as I had hoped.  But then again, I have been very busy lately and haven't gotten back to it.

But I had Sarah Martin (http://healingworks82.blogspot.com/2013/03/how-automatic-writing-reading-works.html) do one for me and it was a WONDERFUL experience.

Now, she emailed not only her automatic writing that she scanned, she also did a write up in email.  When I got it I was on my phone, so I could only read the email portion, but OMG, her first sentence:

"Believe in your gift.  Believe in you.  Believe that the possibilities are endless."

Hit me hard.  I have been going through some self-doubt lately.  I've never doubted my healings - until recently when I seemed "off" after raising my vibration.  I hear "voices" but don't "see" like some of my friends, who by the way are really talented.  I have an intuitiveness that I can't explain, as word pop right out of my mouth when talking to people.  So listening to my other friends who are expanding and hearing about their experiences, I'm happy for them, but also a bit jealous.  What's interesting though, when they're telling me about it, I can see it happening in my mind's eye.  Which is actually kind of cool.

I think it's good for even us intuitive types to have others "read" you.  It gives you perspective that you may not be hearing (or listening to) by your guides. 

Needless to say, I was blessed by the messages that came through Sarah to me.  I can't express enough how much those messages mean to me.  I hope everyone gives her a shot.  What can it hurt? :)  She does it with love and truth and neither are a bad thing.

So, I'm going to try and make time to sit down and start working on my automatic writing.  If I can get 1/2 of what Sarah got, I'll be happy :)

How about you?  Have you tried to do this?

No idea

How often do you feel that you have no idea of where your life is going and worse where it's been?

For so long in my life, I was just coasting.  It's funny looking back, I in my teens seemed to know me and what I wanted in my life and what I wanted to do with my life.  Then one day that disappeared.  I got "caught up" in LOVE.  So much so, I lost myself in the process.  Between him and work slowly working that I was no good, I eventually thought it.

As you can see, I eventually got out of that situation, first work then relationship and I thought I was happy.

Then came the kids.  I have always wanted children.  ALWAYS.  Ask anyone who knows/knew me and that will be one constant I'm sure.  So when I had my first, both my husband and I were very excited.  Until that dreaded appointment when I found out (I was alone) that something was wrong with her.  And not just one thing, multiple things.  Multiple things that could have a lasting affect.  Heart, Kidney and Spine.  So instead of the first time parents thing my husband and I were expecting, we ended up in a crash course of doctors and medical jargon.  Good news was she's doing well now.  We still have to monitor her for the different things and she'll have to have more surgeries in the future, but she's stable right now.

So, after that experience, I had a miscarriage and then got pregnant again.  Had issues with that pregnancy right from the start.  Again, instead of a happy pregnancy, this time we found out the child had Trisomy 18.  Now came the very hard decision of going through the pregnancy with the chance the child wouldn't make it through the pregnancy or birth or terminating it all together.  This is when I had to do some major soul searching.  I didn't understand why this kept happening to me.  My husband was immediately "we'll continue with the pregnancy" -- me I wasn't as sure at that point when the question was asked.  Men can say all they want about the pregnancy, but until they can actually do the carrying -- it's the woman's choice.  I did come to the decision of carrying her, but it was a hard decision.  Especially when the husband was busy talking about caskets and what to do with the funeral stuff.  I finally had to tell him to back off.  I was more concerned in getting her to live.  I would deal with the other stuff when/if it happened.  BTW, there are wonderful people out there that have children still living with Trisomy 18.  My hat goes off to them for being such wonderful people taking care of these special souls.  Well, I did manage to give birth and she did manage to live 2 days.  But we did lose her.  I was sad, but at peace.  I truly felt like she was a "lesson" to me to not take life for granted and live each and every moment -- not get caught up into what I like to call the "day-to-day" crapola.

So I did, I took each moment more seriously, until 3 months after her birth I was pregnant again.  In my gut, I knew I was carrying twins, which was confirmed a few months later.  So now because of my age and then having twins, I had a lot of appointments.  In these appointments we found out genetically they didn't have Trisomy, their hearts were good and so we thought we were in the clear until they started noticing on my girl twin that something was going on with her brain.  It wasn't until after she was born that we got the diagnosis of Agenesis of Corpus Callosum.  Basically she was missing the bundle of nerves that communicate between the two hemispheres of the brain.  What did that mean?  No one knows as each case is different.

So here we go again.  Unknown.  No idea.  All I can do is love my children and make them try to be the best that they can be.  Not what I want them to be -- that's setting  yourself up for failure, but accepting them for the individuals they are.

So, my spirituality has been stagnant for awhile due to all of "this life stuff going on", until recently and it's been fast pace ever since.  Now I'm at a different vibration level and feel like I'm starting new all over again with things.  Which direction do I go in now?  Guess what -- NO IDEA :D

But if I've learned nothing else from my experiences (so far) in life is to take each day as it comes and really really don't sweat the small stuff.  And of course that's easier said than done -- why?  Because emotions are involved.  So because of that, learn to breathe and try and get centered again.

Law of Attraction

I learned of this concept over a year ago.  I really thought it was a fairly easy concept to get down.  Like attract like.  So if I'm worried about my money issues, then I will continue to attract such things into my life, as that is what I'm putting out there as far as energy.

Then I got in on a free call and then purchased her "class session" audio all about clearing your energy fields for unlimited abundance.

So after a year of "learning" and doing different things to try and help the process along, I'm still not where I want to be.

So I have been learning about Akashic Records, about Ascension and the like, and finally wanted a break.  So pulled up on my kindle some free books.  Some, which of course are romance.  Color me surprised finding one called Soul Mates and when reading it, low and behold, they've thrown in the bits about Law of Attraction! 

How's that for the universe giving me a unique perspective on it.  Not only do they incorporate 5 steps to it, they have 2 different characters trying to learn the process and put their own spin on it for their life.  So by the end of the book, they both realize what that means to them.

I'm going to have to go back and read it a little more carefully -- I was trying to read in between taking care of kids and hubby (2 which were sick).  I want to see how I can apply what the author wrote to my life and maybe get me back on track.

Then on Friday evening, because I had nothing better to do, I decided to have my Third Level of Kundalani Reiki done.  Was quite the visual/feeling experience.  First I felt some tingling in my hands.  Then all of sudden I felt like I was floating in water (nice warm water) very zen ;)

Then I felt other elements come to me in "colors" and wrap around me (still in the water).  So I had fire (orange/yellow), earth (green), air (blue) and spirit (purple).  I also felt like there were 3 stones around my 3rd eye.  I saw at least 2 of my chakras really becoming brighter.

So not sure what happened over the weekend.  I'm now very moody and don't want to talk to anyone, have little patience for my kids or anyone really.  I wanted to be a hermit. I had time even to do spiritual work, but I didn't want to do it.

My soul-sister took a look last night and she got a lot of stuff around me and was sending me different type of healing.  This morning, still in a funky mood, and we were talking over chat this morning and she took another look.  She said something about shutting the door around me and it hits me that maybe I forgot to close the door to the Akashic Records and have been bombarded with things.  So I myself closed the door (like I was supposed to) and now I'm feeling calmer.  Which is good, because I truly have a terrible temper and I hate it -- sorry I love it about me, don't like losing it around people.  I'm hoping I keep at this calm pace for awhile.

One Word Guidance

I've been thinking of offering "one word guidance" to people that would like a message from the angels/guides.

I think I'm going to offer on Twitter.  I'm going to utilize our group twitter account to do so @divinepathways1   Just make sure to put #onewordguidance!

See what your guides/angels want you to know in one word!

Guides

So I'm here taking a very expensive course (expensive for control freak me) on the Akashic Records.  My guides have pushed me into taking this course.  So I'm excited about learning all this information.  The first moment I get to actually access some of the course material, there's so much and I'm thinking to myself -- what have I gotten myself into?  How am I going to understand/remember it all?

Then I actually got to start working on "practice" clients.  (Thanks my guinea pigs!).  It helps that they're spiritual people as well.  The way this course works is that you learn a section and then "practice" on your clients.  I now know why it was set up that way.  It really gets you to understand the process.  I got a "nice" quirk that apparently is just for me, is that I get to see the soul's color the first time I access it.  And guess what, if there are some initial issues, the color changes once you have the issue cleared.  Pretty cool gift I think.  It also makes it easier to know when I go back for the next section that I have the "right" record.

I finally get to a section in the course that states you have to have XX number of things before you would get XX number of other things (wish I could be more specific -- but not my material to share).  4 out of my 5 that statement was true, but my 5th "client" blew that statement right out of the water.  Of course, now I start doubting all I've done.  But I continue with the process.  That's the whole point to this exercise.

So I finally get to the "good" part -- the soul origin.  This is the kind of stuff that isn't posted out on the web anywhere -- trust me I've looked :D  So, as I'm reading/listening through this part of the course, I get some soul origins that the teacher has a lot of experience with and so a lot of information to share about them.  Then others, not as much.  That's the challenging part of this course for me.  I would think we'd have the information available and though you're doing a reading for a person, if something came up that hasn't been seen before, that you'd want to get as much information about it.

So part of the course was getting the "teacher" to do the soul profile for you.  I was excited!  I had 2 previous reads done, one which I really connected with and one I didn't.  So was excited to see how this person, who has done this for years found me.  Color me disappointed.  I did not resonate at all with her reading.  So now I'm thinking, is this the right course?  I guess it's the teacher in me in that I look at the information presented and how it can be applied.

I took this course not only to find out how to read a record, but how to heal it.  I'm now being pushed by my guides on doing Automatic Writing.  Why?  Because apparently they want to give me information about the different things found in the soul so people can know and understand them and I assume to help them understand themselves and heal.

So, I start researching Automatic Writing.  Most that you see on You Tube are pen/paper writers.  So I have a journal, I try with a pencil and nothing.  I try with a pen and get my handwriting is awful.  So they apparently want me to type the messages.

So I was talking with my friend (online) this morning and found myself opening up notepad and these words come pouring forth about a soul origin.  At work no less.  So I started keeping a draft of what I'm getting from them.  Including while writing this blog - they decided to interrupt my flow of thought with some of their own.  Luckily -- you can't see that it happened.

I'm auditory, so I hear the voices in my mind.  My college years with the Ouija Board make so much sense now.  I find myself when trying to insert thought into what they're wanting to say, they stop.  Then when I sit back and "enjoy the ride", they come full force.  Guess I'm still working on that process.

Gotta love the guides!  At least mine, they can be lovingly sarcastic at times :D  Like my handwriting be awful -- because unless I concentrate it is!

Frustration

Nothing like being "spiritually advanced" and still getting frustrated :D

This week has been a very busy week.  My youngest had her assessment and they came back with her being even more delayed developmentally than I thought.  Had to vent about that and grieve for not having more pushy with the hubby.  Then my son's speech assessment got cancelled due to the snowstorm.  Then my youngest had another appointment with her neurologist who has given her thoughts on what she might have and when looking it up, doesn't fit her (big surprise).  If that wasn't bad enough, after finally getting home, she ends up with the flu.

So what ever I had planned on doing on Saturday didn't happen.  It's hard when your little one wants to eat and her stomach won't take it.  Wish I could do more for her.  At least I'm getting water in her and some toast.  Just hoping it'll be like the last time, short.

And before you ask the question -- yes, I am a healer.  But for whatever reason, colds and flu and healing my kids as well as myself, I seem to not be able to do.  Frustrates me to no end.  However, I have been getting Reiki attunements and been trying to send the Reiki to my youngest.  I can only hope it's helping keep stuff in her more than it would have normally.

So to sum up this post -- I too get frustrated.  Not only with life stuff, but with my spiritual stuff as well.  Here's to hoping this week brings more peace and health.

Positivity

I used to be the girl with the rose colored glasses, until they cracked.  Then I became such a sour puss that it was no wonder I had such trouble in my life as well as an attitude about it.  I learned to be very cautious with myself (thanks to the ex) in respect to others and always see what they "wanted".

To be on the spiritual path, you can't be like that.  Spiritual = FAITH.  Have faith that things will work out.  Have faith that not everyone is out to scam you.  One way to have that faith is to find joy in your life.

You ever come across "perky" "perpetually happy" people?  How do they make you feel?  For me, it depends on are they in my face or just themselves.  Thinking back, I have a feeling I might have been that type, but oh how time changes.  For me, calm happy is alright.  They find joy, they might smile at you and you feel happy around them.  In the face type, makes me want to slap.  I know.. not real spiritual -- but the truth :D  That type always seems to want you to be happy to and heaven forbid if you're not!  Hey!  We're human and we have ups and downs.  And guess what!  It's OK to be that way.

So thinking about this topic makes me think back to when I was a kid.  I remember finding joy in a lot of things.  I realized recently that I need to get back to that part.  One, because I remember how good it felt to be that way.  Two, because getting to Joy and Love puts you at a higher vibration and brings those things to you more frequently.

Anyone is who has heard of Law of Attraction knows the basic principal == Like attracts Like.

Today, I'm grieving and feeling a bit guilty.  Why?  Because I just found out that my daughter who will be 3 in April and I knew was delayed, is delayed even more than I thought.  So I'm grieving that part of it.  I'm then feeling guilty because I should have pushed harder for her to have more services.  My husband has been a major block on this whole issue with her.  (My Lesson)  I pushed at 14 months to finally get her PT services.  I pushed him to take her to eye doctor because I saw an issue (turns out I was right).  Now, since her eye surgery, she's made huge strides in our eyes, but according to the tests they did on Tuesday, she's VERY delayed.  So I'm taking a moment to feel these feelings, but not to wallow in them.  What's past is past and I can't change it.  So I now need to focus on the here and now.

From here on out, I will be pushing my husband to do more with her (he's the one at home all day).  Will be pushing to get her services that she qualifies for and most importantly, be pushing her.  She beyond her medical issues, is a lazy child.  With lazy children, you have to make it a game for them to want to participate.  I ought to know, I was the lazy child :D

So I'm getting my FAITH on that everything will work out the way it's supposed to for her and for me and my husband.  That's not denying their is an issue, that is being positive that she will turn out fine for her and keeping it positive for all involved.

How are you finding your faith/Spirituality in difficult situations?

Going through tough times?

How many of us are or haven't already been there done that?  I know I've had my fair share and yesterday, my youngest had her "assessment" done.  She's almost 3 and I knew she was delayed, but she's really delayed.  It's been a battle to try and get her where she needs to be.  I would love to say that my husband is on board and pushing her to excel, but he's not really.  He's so busy thinking of she won't attend kindergarten until she's 7.  She won't be able to make it in the real world, so he's found a nunnery for her.  And if that wasn't bad enough, he says all this kind of stuff in front of her.  When he does, I lean over and tell her I expect her to be great and do what she can.  I push her as much as I can.  But since I work full time outside of the house, it's hard for me to push her how I would if I was home.  I do what I can though.  But after hearing how far behind she is from the "norm".. <sigh>

So I do what I always do, take a moment to live in the moment, whether it be sad, angry or happy and then move on.  I will work on what I can with her and get her the help she needs.  It's all I can do.

So I drew a card for today and got:

Oh how appropriate!  Today, where I live we are getting snow.  So much snow, that they've closed a lot of things down.  How better to be carefree than to get out in the snow and play with my kids?

The card says:

Carefree is living life as it was meant to be… easy, carefree and playful!

It is time to put away your problems for a while. Enjoy life and have some fun! Drop your ‘self-importance’, and end your need to take things so seriously. Humor and playfulness will release you from the heaviness of your situation.

Celebrate the joy of being alive! Open your arms to welcome the youthful energy that is filled with wonder, joy and curiosity. Open yourself to the fun that feeds your soul. Let it revive and refresh you!

Relax your mind, body and soul. Smile, and see the humor in your situation. Rise above the issue that has been weighing you down, and imagine yourself flying free in the open sky above.

Imagine if millions of people around the world were laughing, singing, creating, loving, celebrating, dancing and playing. There wouldn’t be time for problems, hurt, revenge, resentments or worry… if we all participated!

So how are you going to implement this card today?

WIP...

I'm a WIP... Work in progress.  As an educator,  I find myself learning new things.  Why?  Because it's important.  When you learn .. you grow..  For me, I want to grow more spiritual so the things I'm concentrating on are working on myself.  I also learn as I help people with their path(s).  The best teachers in my estimation are those that also get something from the exchange with the student.

So I was talking to an online friend this weekend and at one point, I was telling him that I try not to judge people.  He was like what?  I never thought you judged people.  Well guess what, I'm still human.  I really do try not to judge people or situations, but as with always it's a leaning process especially to that spiritual path.  You know the saying, "To err is human, To forgive divine."

Well, I just pulled a card from the Spiritual Journey for this week for you all and guess what card came up:

I'm actually going to post the whole text to the card as I feel it's appropriate to show everyone the true meaning of this card:

Forgiveness

It is time to forgive so you can lighten your soul and enjoy your relationships. Forgiveness can bring back innocence and maturity, and return life to a state of love, compassion, ease and joy!

Forgiveness lightens your soul and the soul you are holding grievances towards. Forgiveness is simply reconnection. This does not necessarily mean you need to always physically reconnect with others though. Boundaries and discernment for what you need, especially when you are feeling fragile are just as important as forgiveness. Reconnection can mean reconnection to your higher self so you are able to have compassion for the mistakes of others and for the mistakes that you make. With forgiveness, you can recognize the innocence of everyone, knowing that the rate of growth happens at different speeds for individuals.

In forgiveness we are gentle towards our youth, compassionate with the elderly, empathetic with those who struggle, and tolerant of the ‘wrong doers’…. sometime in your life, you will be all of these.

Mercy is blessing others with our compassion and forgiveness (as long as there are no feelings or thoughts of superiority). Justice is giving people what they deserve...mercy is giving them more. When we have the humility to remember the countless mercies we receive throughout our life, we find the ability in our heart to show mercy to others.

Sometimes we fear forgiveness because we feel justified in our grievance, and if we forgave, we think we may become victims of further wounding. The truth is we were never victims of wounding. We attract these difficult experiences so we can develop our awareness, or understanding, for our own growth.

Often our lack of forgiveness is really about what we haven’t forgiven ourselves for. If we look close enough we will see we are actually doing (or have done) the same to others, or to ourselves. You may say to yourself, “I’d never act like THAT!” but perhaps the extreme act that someone did was to jolt you awake to the same or lesser acts you have done in the past; even the far distant past (or life times) that you did not make amends for. You can free yourself and others by making a deep heartfelt apology for a wrong that you may have inflicted upon another. Also you can see the actions of others as repressed part of yourself that needs to come into balance. For example; your partner ignores or dismisses your ideas – this can be used to your advantage by increasing your ability to become more assertive.

True forgiveness is saying we don't want the past to be any different. Forgiving people and thanking them for the experience and lessons they gave us will release us all so we can live full and happy lives!

You’ve received this card today to understand the importance of forgiveness. Without forgiveness, you create distance and superiority. Forgiveness is a choice, and the power to change your situation is in your hands - and in your heart. 

In the past, I really really held onto grudges.  Back then I felt mainly it was because you had my utmost trust up front and shame you for letting go of it.  And then I would be mad and stay mad at the person.  Guess who that is hurting?  Me, not them.  It truly did.  Hurt me.  I couldn't get past that moment to live in grace and so it cost me things that now I see in hindsight.

I'd like to say, I'm getting better at letting go of issues as well as forgiving people.  How are you doing on this path?  How does this card affect you currently?  Keep this card in mind this week as you go throughout your life and see how it can apply to you.  Remember, forgiving is Divine :)

Laughter

was the card I pulled today.  Basically it just tells you to lighten up and have some fun in your life.  Why? Because joy is a higher frequency that attracts more things at a higher frequency.

It's actually kind of funny that this came up today on Friday - before the weekend.  This past week I haven't been sleeping very well.  Tuesday into Wednesday was particularly brutal.  I was so sleepy driving home that I decided to "listen" to an episode of Supernatural.  I had started awhile back, but not finished the episode on "LARPing".  For those not familiar with that term -- it stands for Live Action Role Playing.  In this case, it was a fantasy world full of elves, orcs, and queens :D

It was nice that this episode brought back a character form a previous one but it just was so funny seeing how the "guys" (Dean and Sam) reacted to the whole thing.  Watching people go (hold) to fix something and then (resume) to continue in character was pretty funny to me.  A decent episode, but what had me in stitches was listening to the end, where they decide to "join in" the role playing.  So here you have Dean dressed in long hair and instead of blue paint - red.. just like Braveheart -- giving that speech.  The the queen asking Sam, "Is that..", Sam saying, "It is.. it's the only one that he knows".... too funny!  At least for me.

Busy night Wednesday, but GREAT sleeping for a change.  Thursday, I decided to implement a plan for my kids.  Spend a little time with them.  So we were laughing and rolling on the floor before bed.  Puts everyone in a good mood :)

Again, good sleeping!  So here it is Friday and the card I pull is Laughter.  So keeping the theme..  here's a "spiritual" joke for you...

Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

So take some time out of tonight or this weekend to put some fun in your life.  It can't hurt, but definitely will bring you JOY!!