Card for Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Giving is not the root of happiness.
It is the fruit…the fruition of heaven on earth!

When we share our innate gifts, our love, our joy and our laughter with a pure heart, we find that our own hearts and lives are abundantly filled.

When we experience times of trouble, doubt, weakness or fear; giving to others who are in greater need or pain can be the solution. Ask yourself which person needs your help, and give of yourself. Be open to divine inspiration so you will know what is required from you in words or action. Support anyone who comes to mind, or even just send them your love. Make the other person more important than your own troubles. In doing so, you help yourself as well. With a genuine desire to help, you both will move forward in your lives.

Note: In giving to others, be mindful that you are giving ‘purely’. Giving purely means that there are no expectations in your mind of how your gift is received, how it is used, or any expectations for reciprocation. Also be mindful to receive purely as well. Receive with appreciation, without pressure of reciprocation, and without worrying about the expectations of others. Without the ability to receive purely, true giving cannot happen.

Words of mindful care:
At times, everyone needs help or support - yet we don't always know the most beneficial ways to give it. Be mindful. Find out what the other person’s needs really are before you offer help. And take into consideration that we only truly help others by doing things that they can’t do for themselves. In helping; do what you can to find the key to motivate others to help themselves…… then you can fill in the gaps where it’s needed.If you feel drained in the process of giving help or support, check your boundaries. You may need to take time out to deal with an issue of your own that is coming up in order to regain your resourcefulness. If so, say something like, "I have to take some time out now to care for myself, so I can help you better. I really care about you, and I will return in a little while.”

Doing things for others that they can really do for themselves is also a way of staying connected by enabling the other to remain dependent, weak and small. The ‘doing for others’ is because we have a secret fear that if they become stronger, they will no longer need us. Yet at some level we really know we are mainly just needed and not truly loved. We may also fear that if the other person got better it would mean that we have nothing left to do or give….it means we would then have to focus on our own lives, and take steps to move forward. Untrue helping can be an avoidance of the more difficult task of looking inside at one's own needs, and dealing with issues in our lives that requires attention. In our ‘giving’ we actually use others either as a way to avoid the fear of investing in our own goals, dreams or purpose…or we give to avoid any painful feelings we may have. Anyone who is being an untrue helper or giving in extreme sacrifice is either afraid of their feelings, of intimacy, of having an equal relationship… or afraid of taking the next step forward in their life.

Also, be careful not to over burden yourself with the degree of responsibility that you assume. You are not the only person who is good at taking care of things; even if you would like it to be that way in order win favors, to be indispensable, or to be loved and respected.Zen philosophy states – “Offer nothing – just share what you have with those who express an interest in it.” - Hidden benefit: It takes the pressure off of wanting other people to see you as valuable or important.
Giving doesn’t mean total sacrifice of your energy, values or beliefs. Unhealthy sacrifice is about the belief that we have to fill the tasks or roles of others. With healthy sacrifice, people give up things in life for the common good of the project or relationship. It makes us feel good to do so. But….it can also make us feel bad if we stop giving to ourselves, and forgo our own values, beliefs and energy.

Remember:

We can’t increase the number of happy people in the world by sacrificing our own happiness in the process.Promise nothing to others – just do what you most enjoy doing….in this way, you will always over deliver!

Your own personal happiness is one of the greatest gifts you can to give to others, and to the world. From this place, you shine so bright that it naturally leads others out of the dark, and you will naturally become a part of a loving, happy and abundant world!