Friday, May 31, 2013

Frustration

How do you handle it?  If you're like me, not always well.  Been a couple of trying days.  The air in the vehicle I use is not working.  So I take the day off to go and have it looked at and now it needs a compressor.  Which they have to get a hold of and so it won't be fixed until Sunday.

Then my back acted up last night and so I didn't sleep well.  I only got 5 hours of sleep and have been watching the twins, while trying to work on getting my new website up and running.

It's been frustrating.  When I first looked into getting into a website (divinepathways.com) I was shooting blind.  At the time, I thought I'd be able to use Front Page (I used that in the 90's to make my other websites -- once upon a time)  They didn't have it.  So I had to make due with the hosting services "webpage makers"  -- won't get into details which one, as they all are only as good as the template you get.  Which basically means, not really configurable.  I get some people may not want to mess with that stuff -- it's pretty easy to just slap stuff up -- but come on.. the font is changed for the whole site, not individual pages.  Really? 

Then I looked into getting the forum up -- again, it has been a long while since I had even looked at that stuff.  I did what I could.  I'm working with free stuff as much as possible -- although they don't tell you up front that you'll be spending $$ just trying to get better templates and stuff.

So when I was getting the website up -- I did it quickly.  I didn't have a lot of time (still don't) to learn complicated HTML or CSS programming.  WSYWIG is the way to go for me -- I'm visual.  Now products do have that -- but it's limited compared to my old friend Front Page :D

I decided to see if I could look at a different product to see if it was more configurable.  Guess what -- a little more -- but not much if you wanted it to be free.  Then I was looking at plugins and widgets and getting more and more confused. 

I'm the type of person that has enough technical stuff going on I can get into trouble :D

Well trying to see if I can do products/services for payment for the different pages (people) we have involved and the answer was NO.  It was the WHOLE site.   That wouldn't be bad, but it's not configurable enough for me to make my own product area and pay buttons.

Hence the reason looking for my own site.  Found a free service, have my domain name registered and my content is up and running.  I'll be adding to it soon.

So when it comes to this website stuff -- I keep trying for the Law of Attraction to come and bring me someone technical into my life that can help and teach me (for free).  So far it hasn't happened - but I keep praying for it.

So it's been a bit frustrating... and I'm trying to deal.  I didn't even yell at the kids -- other than when the boy took something from the littlest :D

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Remembering...

Grateful every day for each and every one of them!  Including the one no longer with us.. still remembering though.


Blessings...

We have to find blessings in our lives.  Too often we're focused on the "goal" of what we want and never seem to get closer.

Ever wonder why?

Well, if you aren't grateful for the things you currently have and happy with it, and continue to want and want more, you'll never get there.  It's just the funny thing the universe does.

Wanting keeps you in a wanting mode and not having.  I know, I have trouble with this concept as well.  But I keep trying.

So today -- here are my blessings/gratitudes:

1) Happy to have 3 healthy children
2) Happy to have a job
3) Happy to have a house and cars that work
4) Happy to have money for food
5) Happy for being alive
6) Happy to have a husband and kids that love me
7) Happy to still have my parents living
8) Happy to be starting a new endeavor
9) Happy to be losing weight
10) Happy to have loving friends

What are you grateful for today?

Saturday, May 25, 2013

New Products

NEW Website:  http://www.healingsbyharmonize.com/

I am starting to offer my services for payment.  Check out the link above to buy them. :)

I'm offering:

Distance Healings.  These are healings that I work on that are physical in nature.  As you've read in past posts, I have healed my father and others from cancer and apparently re-grew my daughter's corpus callosum.  I have helped others with jaw pain, headaches, knee problems... etc.  I won't promise miracles, but I will do my best to help where I can.

Reiki Healings.  These are healings that use Kundalini Reiki.  I call them Energy Healings.  Sometimes people just need energy sent to them and the energy knows where to go for that person.

I don't have to be near you to do either of these services, which is nice as I can offer it to any and all that want them.

3-Card Tarot Readings.  I use various tarot cards to help people with a problem or just general guidance.  Often times I also pick up on your energy and give you advice the guides want me to tell you.  This will be sent to you in an email.

Energy Pictures.  I just recently started doing this.  I tap into the energy of the person to create pictures that represent them.  If requested, I can add Reiki Healing to the picture as well when creating.  Here is an example of one I did for my daughter:



Akashic Record Soul Profile.  With some information that you provide to me, I can go to your Akashic Record and create you a Soul Profile.  It is who you are at the basic level.  I can also give you idea of the different areas in time that you have ties to and I can usually see your soul color.

As things get going for me, I hope to add additional services.  Please feel free to contact me for any of these services.

Blessings!



Friday, May 24, 2013

Not sure what to believe...

My youngest daughter when born had an MRI done on her brain.  They told us at that time, that her Corpus Callosum (bundle of nerves that communicate between the 2 hemispheres) wasn't there.  So they diagnosed her as Agenesis of Corpus Callosum.  This is one of those diagnosis that you just don't know how it will affect the child.  They could be "completely normal" to mentally/developmentally delayed.

We were seeing a neurologist every 6 months or so, until this past year when that doctor left.  So we've been scrambling trying to find another.  We finally got directed to one.  She ordered another MRI and some blood work to be done.  She was leaning toward it being a hormone deficiency because she was missing some other things in her brain. (hence the MRI).

Well, we just got the results back from the MRI.  Apparently she does have a corpus callosum, it's just thin.  However, there are things going on with the Pons and Cerebellum.  I didn't get to talk to the doctor, so I have no idea what this means long term.  They're apparently now leaning toward it being a chromosomal issue and we'll have to wait on the blood work to be finished for a "final" diagnosis.

I was kind of in shock yesterday when the husband told me the high version he got from the doctor, because I like to know what does this mean, can you give me an initial diagnosis, so I can prepare for what's down the line.  I just need the information and I don't have it.

Then it hits me just before leaving for work.  After her initial diagnosis, I worked on trying to develop some new pathways for her brain.  I am a healer and do what I can when I can.  I mean we were told that corpus callosums don't grow back, if it's not there, it's not there.  So that's why I was concentrating on her having new ones.  I literally in my minds-eye saw purple lighting in her brain area.  I did this for a few months, until I was told to stop.

So now after this new MRI, she has one?  So, did I re-grow one for her?  I'm sure the doctors will all say it was the difference in the MRI machines or because she was a newborn versus 3 now.  But I saw that initial scan.  There wasn't one.

I'm being told by my guides that yes, I did re-grow it.  But how do you explain that to your family that 1) either doesn't believe you can heal things or 2) doesn't even know.

So I'm trying to take the positive out of the situation.  She has one.  It may be "thin" but it's there.  So, I will continue what I have always done with my kids -- push them to be the best that they can be.  Even if they don't like it.

But WOW is how I'm feeling.  I love when I get validations from medical fields that I did make a difference -- even if no one knows.  Makes my heart fill with gladness.  Thanks to God who has made this gift possible.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

4 years...

since my little Trisomy 18 angel came into our lives.  Sarah was born on May 22, 2009.  Her due date was technically in June.  I was very blessed to have wonderful doctors and nurses whose only thought was to give us time with her.  We knew she had a heart issue.  We knew she had a cleft lip/palate as well.  During the pregnancy I had polyhydramnios (extra amnio fluid) -- way extra.  We didn't know why that was happening, it apparently happens sometimes with Trisomy pregnancies.

So we went into this appointment, not prepared to give birth, just to have a look and go home.  It was Memorial Day weekend.  Had our weekly scan and the perinatologist came in to say she didn't like the look of the cord.  That she wanted us to deliver immediately.   We weren't prepared, I didn't have my bag or any of her things.  Our home was over an hour away.  We thought we had got them to decide to wait until after the holiday.  They just wanted me over to the hospital to get checked to make sure I wouldn't have my water break. 

I knew something was up when they put an IV in me.  My OB was supposed to be off at 5, but she stayed to deliver Sarah.  You would think that the whole process would be very dire and quiet.  But it wasn't.  There were a ton of people in the room (teaching hospital) and they made it very lively.  For that I'm eternally grateful.  Because to be honest, we didn't know if she'd be alive once she was out.

She was.  And what a lovely soul she was.  She gave us 2 days with her and made very goal I set out for her.  My only regret was not more pictures of her and me together.  It was on the 24th of May, when they took a scan of her stomach, because the formula kept coming back up that we found out her esophagus had not attached to her stomach.  At that point, we knew it was just a matter of time.

My parents had driven 2 days to get there.  She made it long enough for them to get to hold her and tell her they loved her.  Then she passed in my arms.

She was a life lesson and a gift.  Anyone who has gone through something similar will probably tell you the same.

It's been 4 years since she came into and went out of our lives.. but we'll never forget.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Card for May 22, 2013






Whatever has been consuming your time and energy is coming to an end, and a whole new level of success has, or is about to come into your life. Because of your willingness to accept the recent challenges of life, you can start celebrating your success!

Your success is also a gift for others - for when you succeed you light up the ‘path of inspiration’ so others can follow.

Success isn’t just about accomplishing something; it’s also your attitude in how you view yourself and your life. Success is viewing yourself in a positive way no matter what the outcome of your plans or goals. It is celebrating the risks you took, and the striving and the efforts you made. Success, in part, is knowing that - all that you are and all that you do - is always enough.

Life is full of endings and new beginnings, and we can sometimes feel sad or empty when things come to completion. Give yourself time and space to release these feelings and replace them with the wonder and enthusiasm of what’s to come.

If you have just accomplished something, it is time to reap the reward! Too often when we reach our goal or task we brush by the celebration because there is always the next thing on our list to accomplish. Take the time to rest a bit and enjoy your success. Really acknowledge your success. Treat yourself in some special way - celebrate and share it with others!

Yet remember not to rest on your laurels too long, this is not your final destination. The journey isn't over yet. There are worlds upon worlds still waiting to be explored!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Weather..

My heart goes out to all of those affected by the tornadoes yesterday.  I have friends in the area and hopefully they're all alright. :)

I grew up in "Tornado Alley".  As a child, I was terrified of tornadoes.  Took a long time to be unafraid of them.  I was lucky that we had close calls, but none actually hit us.  Living in Iowa, we had a basement.  That's where we would go when weather turned bad.  I remember as a kid - we'd have drills for fire and tornadoes.  I also remember visiting my grandparents in Texas and seeing the bad storms and asking them where their basement was (they didn't have one).

I apparently have taken this weather thing to an extreme.  I've had a few birthdays where the tornadoes have come close (my birthday is in March) to where I was living.  Heck, when I moved to LA, we had a tornado hit there as well.  But while living in LA, I lived through Riots, Floods, Mudslides, Fires and Earthquakes.  Then when I moved back to the East Coast near DC, I apparently became a hurricane magnet.  They liked to follow me when I was traveling during August & September.  Needless to say, I try not to travel during those time frames anymore.  And my in-laws who live in Florida are grateful :D


We are in the season of bad storms.  I have a feeling we're just getting started, with the weather that has been crazy lately.  Storms are probably worse these days than in the past for a few reasons:  more people so more populated areas and better equipment than in the past that can track things that we didn't have in the past.  We can't guess as to how bad storms were in the long past, as many records weren't kept.

Regardless of what happens, please keep all in your thoughts and prayers that have to deal with any major storms.  It's the least that we can do for them.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Lessons learned

Lessons Learned - Carrie Underwood

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.


 I listened to this for the first time today -- it came on my Pandora site I was listening to.  Boy oh boy, did I listen to it.  The music brought me in, but the lyrics (posted above) kept me listening.

To often we look back at mistakes and do the what if.. scenario.  I used to do that.  After losing Sarah, I stopped.  I really came to a point in my life to really start appreciating all those things that had happened to me.  They are there for a reason.  Often we won't have any idea during that time and possibly not ever, but trust me we learn from it.  Whether we think we do or not.  And it's a beautiful thing -- change is constantly happening (both good and bad) and we grow through it.  Sometimes it takes us a few times for the same things happening over and over again, that we finally get the correct message and stop doing that behavior.

So for me, I am grateful, so grateful for everything that has happened to me.  I am blessed to have had these things in my life to help me grow.

Blessings out to all this week.. may you be blessed from your lessons learned...

Friday, May 17, 2013

Dreams.. Repeated

I know I did a blog a little bit ago on dreams and I had put in there that my dream was to be on Dancing with the Stars -- which I got on because I finished my book and it was a Top Seller.

This week I was giddy because I was getting to train after a long time of not training.  It was a great class as well.  Lots of questions -- good questions and I felt good after the class that they all got something out of the class.  I have to make some tweaks to the training materials - but not major changes.  Just trying to get some of the points more clearer to all.

Anyway, I got such an amazing message yesterday from one of the students.  I had briefly talked about my kids and the girls' issues that I was trying to finish my book on them.  It was just on a break and so I don't think much of it - because I like talking about it.  Sometimes it helps as other parents had gone through similar stuff and find it hard to talk about.  Well, this student was listening.  Apparently she has a POC at a publisher that is looking for books of this nature.  They will be happy to put me in contact with them, if I was interested.  Say what??  I am so touched that she thought to share this with me and then she gets me with this:

PS - You are a gifted trainer, and you care about whether or not your students "get it."  Thank you for caring.

OK, now I'm in tears.  Literally.  It is such a great validation when I get messages like this from my students.  I work very hard on learning the systems I teach so I can give them real life examples to work from and I play in the system to figure out shortcuts to also help them.  I also like to think I also can read the student's faces and see when they may not be getting a concept.  Then I try to present it another way with the hope that I will eventually present it in a way they can understand.

I've been in those classes where the teacher can only explain it one way -- reason for that is -- they don't know any other.  A true teacher should be able to understand all ways and be able to present in a multitude of ways so the concept is there for the students.

So, now I have a possible POC for my book -- guess I need to get back at it and get it finished.  Luckily I have a friend who's a good editor (and writer as well) who will help me along the way.  And keep me motivated.

As you've seen in my previous blog posts - I'm usually very busy and usually tired.  Well today, I will make it a part of my day at work to write at least 20 minutes over lunch.  I need to get this book done and stop just talking about it.

So what dream can you start to work on to make it come true?  Happy Weekend everyone! :)

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Card for the Weekend

It's been a busy week so far.  Working to get my training materials ready for a class I was actually going to teach for a change, then having the class and answering questions, then on breaks/lunches troubleshooting other issues.  Going home to baking cupcakes each night.  My mother-in-law is here for a couple of weeks, which is nice.  Today is my eldest girl's birthday - she turns 7.  Planning her and a couple of friends to explore "Fun Castle" on Saturday for a few hours.

So, I feel bad I don't always get a chance to "blog".  I wish I had a driver so I could on the way to work -- I mean I have 1-3 hr commute depending upon traffic.  But I don't, so I make due when I can. :)

So today's post is a card drawing. I pulled from the Psychic Tarot (lovely cards BTW):


What we see here is a person sailing into the light.  The card is POSITIVE MOVEMENT FORWARD.   It could be said that sailing is an art form and takes skills and knowledge as well as talent to master.  As does many things.  This card says to take all those gifts that you have and make use of them to move you into a more positive direction.  This card is an "8" and that number represents prosperity and abundance.  This card really recognizes all that you have done to get to this point and encourages you to keep pursing  your passion as then your soul can truly express itself and can get you even closer to your dreams.  Be looking for any and all opportunities that allow you to keep that passion going!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Giddy!

Makes me wonder where on the scale of energy Giddy would be -- close to Joy perhaps?  After a couple of hard weeks (working, commuting, getting house ready, watching kids - due to hubby being under the weather) I finally got Mother's Day weekend "off" (mostly).  I finally got down time to do what I wanted to do -- watch some shows, read some books, and be creative -- here's a picture I created:





Today, is a good day.  I get to actually teach today.  That's my job, but lately the other guy has been doing the training and I'm working on systems and getting documentation done.  Today, because there's been a change and we have more people that we've had in awhile attending classroom training, I get to do it!  So I'm giddy.

There is nothing like teaching people something  you know and having them "get" it.  I'm not often very fluid in my writing - kind of a tell it like it is person.  But I love when I can bring my experiences into it and help others understand -- whatever it is.

I've been told in the past that there's a future for me in teaching people spiritual stuff - like how to heal.  I think I'm going to have to start trying to work on that.  I know there are other programs out there -- but I don't know, I feel like mine is going to make things click for people.  At least that's my hope.  I have wonderful friends that can also help others.  I never think it's a bad thing to get different perspectives.  Not everyone understands one way all the time.  We're individuals with different learning modalities. 

But regardless of what my future is to bring me... I'm going to stay in the giddy mode for as long as I can.. it's a nice feeling to have.

What makes you giddy?  Then go out and do it so you too can feel this wonderful feeling!

Friday, May 10, 2013

One small step

is a start to a popular phrase most anyone should know (moon landing anyone?).  However it's also an important part to Law of Attraction.  Sure, you need to dream about what you want and have passion and joy for what you want, but you can't just sit back and expect it to "just happen".   If you listen to some of these things, you get that impression, but you have to actually start moving yourself into that mindset and put yourself out there for that thing to happen.

So, if you want to win money -- then play the lottery.  It's  your way of telling the universe you're open to it.  If you want to sell a book - you need to get it written.

For some of us with control issues (points to herself) it's hard to let go of that control to let the universe give us what we want.  Too often we want to tell the universe how we want it.  That makes it harder for the universe to make it happen. 

Just make it big with not worrying about the how. I want lots of money so I can do the things I want and need to do.  I trust in the universe to figure out how I'm going to get it.  I want that person that fits me and has these characteristics.  I want time and motivation to finish my book.

So, I want the money.  I want to finish my book.  I want that partner that will be supportive of what I want to do.  I'm going to play the lottery.  I'm going to take at least 20 minutes each day to work on the book - whether I feel like it or not.  I will be open to love.

How can you take a small step to help the universe bring you what  you want?

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Happy Place

What is your happy place?  Things you like to dream about or think about before going to sleep?  Or taking a moment in your busy day to daydream -- yes daydream! -- to get you to that happier feeling?

Believe it or not, I like listening to music I have collected and put myself on Dancing with the Stars.  I was a dancer when I was younger, but never learned ballroom.  I always wanted to though.  I like imagining myself taking the music I've listened to for so long and creating waltzes, tangos, and cha-chas.  Of course, because it's Dancing with the Stars -- I'd have to be a "star" wouldn't I?  Well in my happy place, my book is published and is on the best seller's list.  I do the book tour (hello Ellen!) to talk about all the disabilities that my children have and so I become "known".

So it's a bit funny, that dream of mine.  But you know what?  I don't care.  Why can't dreams be so far reached that you may never get there - or maybe you will -- but you should never limit any dreams you have.  Dreams are the things that make you happy that allow you to get out of your head and reality for a time. 

I like to dream a lot.  I have other ones beside the Dancing one ;)  Dreams are what give us hope and keep our spirit alive. 

So what are you going to dream about today?

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

When it rains...

it pours... which is funny considering it's supposed to rain the next few days.  But I was talking about what's been going on with my family.  My last post talked about never having enough time.  I'm still there with that but it just seems that things keep going on with hubby or kids or me.  Lately, other than my back, I've been pretty well.  Until just recently.

I have had this intermittent issue with my stomach.  The flap on my stomach doesn't always close.  Then during divorce and then subsequently pregnancies, I became prone to acid reflux and ulcers.  Then in the past few years, every so often, I have problems with my food going down "fast" (or normal) my esophagus.  It's not painful, but it's also not pleasant.  It's not like it went down the wrong pipe and you need help to get it out of there.  It's in the right area, it just kind of "sits" in your esophagus and slowly moves down.  Think of swallowing air.  It feels like a gas bubble slowly going down.  You feel everything.

Well until recently, it didn't happen "that" often, just every once in awhile.  But just recently, it seems to be going on with anything I eat or drink.  So this morning, I decided to do a search on slow esophagus.  Don't worry, I take everything I find with a grain of salt ;)

But what I didn't imagine I'd find that this is a fairly common thing cropping up.  It's called esophageal motility disorders.  So now in my busy schedule, I will be trying to find time to get to my Primary Care Physician (PCP) and get a referral to a specialist and then get scheduled for tests to check it out.  Of course, also knowing me, it probably won't show up when they want to do the test.  I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me and doctors think I'm nuts usually.

And now, we're still waiting on the results of my youngest daughter's MRI and blood work.

Regardless of what I go through I know God only gives me what I can handle -- even when I don't think I can.  Each thing I go through helps me to evolve into a better person.  For example, my youngest daughter who is delayed, we got out these picture/word flash cards we used with our eldest and then a bit with the boy and worked on recognizing the picture - saying the word and then for fun I started spelling it and she "copied" me spelling the word too.  She thinks it's great fun.  She even cried having a tantrum when we stopped.  I think having her repeat the letters (even if it doesn't click with her) gives her a chance to get the sounds down a bit more.  She also for the first time ever was able to point to her nose, mouth, eyes, and ears.  I almost cried seeing her do it.  I will be working with her more on that - as so far it's been a one time event.  That's the tricky part to her condition -- there's no rulebook to follow -- everyone is different in some way.  I am also loving the fact that she's becoming more independent in her feeding.  For example, after her MRI - we had to watch her getting back to food.  So we started after water to applesauce.  By the time I saw her she was getting really hungry.  So when I gave her the spoon and opened the applesauce, she did it all on her own.  Usually she lets us spoon it for her.  I've been recently pushing her to do it herself.  Or if nothing else helping her scoop things up, but letting her take it to her mouth.  Well it's paying off!

I love my kids, but I'm going to challenge them wherever I can.  I want them to work to get what they can and know that they can try and fail and it's alright.  We'll try again and maybe the next time they'll succeed.

Oh and kuddos to my eldest -- she did most of her diorama by herself and working with her (although a short time frame in doing so - bad me) she got great marks for both!  Plus the clasping of the hands kept her from jumping around when giving her presentation.

Not to forget the boy -- I usually say to him -- "you're so cute!".. well yesterday he had his bunny and handed it to me and then kept saying to the bunny "Oh you're so cute!"  Quite funny :)  He's a lovey boy and I like it that way.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Never enough..

Time.. it seems in my life.  Last week I was dealing with taking care of my kids while my husband "rested" due to kidney stone.  Yet, if my parents (who are visiting) tried to do anything he'd be having a fit.  Like I have the time to do it -- commute/work etc.  So fast forward to the weekend - where on Saturday morning my husband is like "I think I'll go to Capon today to get water" -- my response -- "Sure you are.."  This is what I deal with on a daily basis.  He has these thoughts but never discusses them until they're right on top of us.  I figured with my parents help, we should be alright, but I didn't expect my Mom to fall sick.  Thankfully my Dad's been taking them to parks/playgrounds or even in the backyard to get them out of the house.  I was busy cleaning and doing laundry and running errands.  I'm still tired from last week and the week before picking up the slack from hubby not feeling well.

Today, my youngest is having an MRI done.  They want to see if she's missing anything other than the corpus callosum.  They're also taking blood test to figure out if she's got thyroid type issues.  I'm praying everything comes out alright.  Either we have finally a diagnosis or we don't.  She had her first speech session

Last week was just crazy, I don't even remember it going by.  Weekend was the same.  I just never really got a chance to be "down" -- except nap time on the weekend.  Saturday I actually took a nap and Sunday I was doing laundry and watching renting/buying house shows with my Mom.

I'm sure I'll look back at this time fondly, but right now I just feel pulled apart and tired all the time.  I'm hoping come summer it'll calm down just a little.

How do you make use of your time?  Do you give yourself time to yourself?


Thursday, May 2, 2013

I've learned something...

as hard as it is to believe, even at my age I learn stuff :D

When people ask you how you are, you have a few different ways you can respond:

1) Fine/OK -- as it was just a polite question and they don't really want to know

2) Great, it's a wonderful day -- pretending even though you don't really feel it or maybe you do and then that positive emotion transfers to them.

3) Complain about EVERYTHING -- making them wish they didn't ask and keeping that negativity around you (and attracting more)


I can't tell you how many times I do #1 or  worse #3.  I got asked question this morning and today - I just said OK.  Why?  Because I didn't get much sleep last night and my back is still hurting.  But, in the scheme of things, saying OK is not complaining -- so that was a bonus.  However, when you get people that know you and you answer that -- they usually ask ok?  What's wrong?  Then you get to go into the explaining (and sometimes complaining) which still isn't good.  The more we talk about our issues that energy keeps around us and we don't feel any better.

Today, even though I'm tired and my back is hurting, is going to be a wonderful day.  I'm going to will it into existence if it wasn't going to be.  I'm alive another day.  The pain tells me I'm alive.  It's hurting me but not crippling me.  There are people out there worse than I am.  I'm asking the angels and anyone who would feel the need to try and help me deal with the pain.  I'd personally like the issue to go away, but the pain is there for a reason.

I've read that when a pain is constant in your life, it's your body's way of telling you you're not dealing with an issue.  I keep asking -- OK what am I NOT dealing with and not getting any answers.  So if anyone out there has a clue -- let me in please :D

So, if someone asks you today how you're doing --- please tell them it's a wonderful glorious day!  And that you're grateful for another day of living and loving life!  See how they respond :D