Card for Friday, January 23, 2015

There are four aspects of judgement to consider.

1. Judgements are opinions. They are a necessary part of describing and understanding our world, and a part of making decisions.

Judgements are the adjectives of our language - they describe a person, a place, or thing. Our judgements are based on our values, beliefs and needs. For example: we judge others on how they live their lives and what they value, so we can determine if they would be an asset or a detriment to us. We also judge situations, careers, having children or not, vacation options...etc, for the same reason.

Sometimes judgements, whether they are positive or negative, is a reflection of how we view ourselves.

An obvious reflection of a negative judgement would be if someone said, “She is so critical of others.”…This judgement, of course, is a critical remark, so recognizing someone’s critical nature is reflected back to us to show us our own critical nature. What a wonderful growing opportunity it is when we use both positive and negative judgements of others, as a mirror to see ourselves.

Sometimes we judge others to separate ourselves from them.

When we say, for instance, “We are Environmentalists, they are Polluters”, it separates us into groups. Seeing people’s negative traits can inspire positive action and change, but it can also lead us away from seeing their positive attributes, which leads us towards a world of superiority - a world of ‘good guys vs. bad guys’…a world of conflict and war. And whether our negative judgements are applied to others or ourselves, they often keep us from seeing and experiencing the beauty, love and gifts that lie within all of us!

We judge others negatively as a way of avoiding our feelings, our needs, and any actions that we are required to take.

Instead of feeling and acknowledging what we need, we disconnect from ourselves and go into our head by analyzing, blaming and judging. This prevents us from feeling, understanding our needs, and taking responsibility to get our needs met. Avoidance can limit the information we need to make positive changes. For example; complaining that your job is ‘boring’, cuts you off from understanding that you may need more stimulation. It may feel safer to complain than to take action (as it cuts you off from your feelings of fear - like the possibility of having to find a new job).

A sure way to steer clear of unneeded judgements is to use compassionate communication with ourselves and others. Define what the situation is, know what is felt by the other person and what you feel, understand each person’s needs, and take positive action to meet those needs.
The card Judgement has come up to provide you with the awesome opportunity to learn and grow! Take some time and ask yourself if your current situation falls in one or more of the four categories.