There is a world of difference between loneliness and aloneness.
Loneliness can encompass feelings of discontent and sadness, marked by a sense of isolation, estrangement, deficiency and excessive loneliness. When one is lonely, one feels that something or someone is missing. When you are lonely you may be missing -- a friend, a partner, a pet, your mother, your beloved, meaning or purpose, joy, playfulness….etc.
If you find yourself alone unexpectedly, know that you may have chosen this at an unconscious level; you may actually need to be alone for an important reason, and it has happened for your higher good. Even though loneliness can feel intolerable, don’t give in to the quick, desperate act of filling the space with the first person that comes along. Hold on a little bit longer, and wait for divine timing. Use this time alone as a test of character and faith - for there could be no higher stake. Acting in haste may ease your loneliness temporarily, but in exchange, you may cause others pain when you realize the relationship is unsuitable.
It is also possible to still feel lonely even if you are in the company of a partner or friends. This is may be the most painful form of loneliness. This type of loneliness happens because you are either desperate or you are playing a role based on other people’s expectations and needs. You experience loneliness and separation because you are ignoring (or you’re disconnected) from your desires, feelings, needs and purpose. You are disconnected from your authentic self -- and when this happens, you cannot truly connect with others.
Another reason you may be experiencing loneliness is because you have separated yourself from others by judging, labelling, rejecting or criticizing them. Instead of seeing them as a person with value, they’ve become an object, a problem, a stranger or an opponent. You push others away when you do these things, and you may end up feeling bitter and lonely.
Loneliness is not just separation from others, but from the absence of self-love, trust, faith, peace, joy, hope, and the divine. You can feel utterly lonely inside when these most vital things are absent.
Aloneness is different. Loneliness is absence, and Aloneness is presence.
It is not the presence of others, but the overflowing presence of trust, faith, peace, joy, hope and self-love within you. And once these things are developed, they can never be taken from you.
Aloneness, or solitude, is the state of being alone without the negative feeling of being lonely or isolated. It is a healthy part of living and being. Spending time alone in the company of yourself will benefit you in many ways. It creates the space to explore what you really want, need, or how you feel about things. It lets you reflect on who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going in your life. You can use time alone to work on a project, start a new hobby, read a book, write a song, take a road trip, or go to museums and art galleries. Spending time alone helps you develop your individuality, which means you will have more of yourself to share with others!
Aloneness restores body and mind. Loneliness depletes them.
We all need solitude, although the amount of time we need differs depending on the person or our circumstances. Being alone makes some people nervous so they pack their days as full as possible with various people and activities. This way they avoid the reality of their lives and their feelings. If you have had a tendency to avoid spending time alone, perhaps solitude is just what you need.
If you have drawn this card because you are experiencing loneliness, be aware of how you are choosing to view it, and take responsibility for choosing to be alone (be it a conscious or unconscious choice). You can either feel lonely and sad, or feel courageous and confident in knowing that times of aloneness can build inner strength and character, and gives you a break to rejuvenate your soul. Each of us can develop the ability to be alone for the times when we need to walk a path without help from others. You have the courage to face your aloneness. This is a time to shine within to light your own path! Transform your loneliness by spending this time alone to develop all of what aloneness encompasses.
I know this very well. I went from having no one to everyone back. I just wished I didn't have to clean during my alone time. But I still made the most of that alone time and enjoyed it. You can be around people and still feel alone, like you don't fit in with them. That could be that you're either not allowing people in to your light or that you're ready to move on to new people and places. Don't worry about spending time by yourself in either of these situations. You have to be comfortable with your own company before you can have others be in the same in yours :)
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