Day 7 - Honest

I am for the most part an honest person.  I'm not going to say totally honest - as in the past I've done somethings I'm not proud of, but over time I've learned to be pretty honest.

Honesty is not a bad label to have, it's how we use it.  For example, I found out that I really couldn't lie when I was like 5 or 6.  My mom had perfume in her bathroom and I sprayed some on.  She smelled it on me and asked if I had gone into her bathroom and messed with the perfume.  Of course I said no -- wasn't supposed to go in there -- and you gotta love your parents response -- are you sure?  Of course is always the response back.  Well then you find out they can smell it on you and you are thus punished worse than you would have been had you been honest.  Let lesson taught me to be honest.

Now at times, my honesty can be a bit.. blunt.  Usually when my emotions (angers/hurt) are engaged.  I then turn into where I make Simon Cowell look like Paula Abdul (when they were on American Idol).  Yes, I'm that blunt.  I've learned over time, to walk away and calm down before discussing anything.  However, I usually get pushed into "talking" and that never goes well.

But I like being honest.  If I find things on the ground like a wallet - I usually track people down.  Or I've found ATM cards and let them at the bank for the owners to pick up.  Stuff like that.  That's the good honest to be.  I know if I've let a wallet or purse somewhere I pray that I'll get it back with everything still in it.

So how about you?

Day 6 - Trusting

So, I'm a bit late with my blog posts.. been a rough few days.  So I'm making up by writing them all today to catch up, starting with this one.  But I didn't want to overdue a post - so I'm still keeping them separate days.

So for Day 6 I'm choosing the label Trusting.  I like being trusting.  I like thinking the good of people and trusting they will do what they say they will do.  I also like others being able to trust me.

Now the downside of being trusting is that too often those devious people are looking for people like me who are trusting.  It often makes for HUGE life lessons for us that are trusting.  And that's what we have to look at that experience as - a life lesson.  There's trusting.. and then there's too trusting.  Let me give you an example...

Too Trusting -- Your child asks for the car and "says" they're going to go xyz.  You hand them the keys.

Trusting - Your child asks for the car and "says' they're going to go xyz.  You ask them enough questions - like do you have enough money, do you have your cell with you, who all is going.. etc etc etc. After asking questions and getting answers you give them the keys. 

So you still trust them - you gave them the keys, but you have enough information that you can make a good decision and are able to get in contact with them just in case.

I think sometimes I fall in the category of too trusting and then sometimes I fall in the category of trusting.  I'd like to remove myself from too trusting now.  And be more prudent with my choices and decisions rather than just being too trusting about the whole situation.  Being too trusting was fine when I was younger - and you'd think I would have learned my lesson - but here I am at 44 still learning them. 

Which one are you or are you even trusting?

Day 5 - Patient

Wow, already on Day 5 of the I AM Challenge!  Today's label I'm looking at for me is Patient.  And with this I'm talking about the dictionary adjective version -

able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious

versus the noun version

a person receiving or registered to receive medical treatment.

Which I could be.. at times .. lol and possibly at the moment with my back.. but I digress...

Most of the time, I'm a fairly patient person.  I keep thinking of the best of people, keep hoping things will change, things like that.  I mean I was in an abusive relationship for over 6 years and kept in it, until I finally saw the light.

I'm patient most of the time with my kids.  I really try and come from a place of love for them.  It doesn't feel good when you get yelled at especially for little things.  So I really work on trying to get them to understand what they did wrong.

I like this part of me to a point.  Part of me that is patient I shouldn't take as long to come to decisions as I do.  But I often put other people's feelings first.  Give them that benefit of a doubt.  Think until I'm proven otherwise the best of them.  I'd really wish I wouldn't do that as often.  It doesn't always benefit me.  As then I get torn up about things inside and then worry about them.  As much as I try not to.  It still happens and then I feel bad about all this gunk inside of me from the worry and the possible outcomes.  That part I'd like to give away.  I'd like to be patient to a point, but if something has to be done, to just do it.  Regardless of feelings.  Sometimes things need to be said and hopefully that will turn out better than how I do it now.  Maybe not - who knows until I try.

Day 4 - Healer

Today I claim the label healer.  It's been a few years now when I first found out I could heal physical ailments on certain people.  It has become who I really am.  To me a healer not only heals physical things, but also emotional things.  They are compassionate and caring.  And it doesn't matter if they don't know a person, they often want to help people in general.  Especially if they see a person in pain.  They are good listeners.  They often have gone through major life trials in order to help others with their experiences.

I often give healing to people without "meaning" to - especially emotional pain.  I now ask people for physical issues, their permission to work on them.  The basis of my healing is LOVE.  I heal with love, my love and God's/angel's love.

The only things I don't like about being a healer is feeling so deeply that I take on their pain.  Often it's hard to give it up - though I'm working on that.  The other things I don't like is that currently I am unable to heal myself.  I keep trying and hope one day that will work.

Just as a note to remind people, what I'm doing for the next 30 days is reclaiming who I am.  You want to join us -- label it #NOLABELS in twitter.  Check out our forum explaining what to do: 30 day challenge


And you can follow along with my sister and her blog: http://allthingsnadine.wordpress.com/

If you want to share with me on your journey, just email me: harmonize@divinepathways.com the link of your blog.  Would love to know more!

Day 3 - Good Person

Actually I was going to put goody-two-shoes - you know the old Adam Ant song?  Yea, they dubbed me with that in school.  I was the kid that didn't drink, didn't smoke.. so what did I do?  Well, back then I was "high on life".  I grew up in a smallish city but when to a small farm school - so back then not much to do - especially with no cable, so a lot of kids I knew drank, smoked and did drugs even.  I didn't want to feel out of control, so I didn't need it. 

I still don't.  Not to say I don't have a drink here or there, I do on occasion. Drugs - don't do unless doctor prescribes.  Smokes, well did do it once upon a time, but haven't done it in a long time.  If I had to do it again, I probably wouldn't.  But that's hindsight - which is always 20/20.

So they call me good.  Nothing wrong with that.  Am I always good?  Heck no!  I am human.  I have feelings like anger and envy etc.  Things that would make me not seem as good.  But I'm OK with it.  I try and be good and helpful to those I know and meet.  It's part of who I am.  I don't like not being good, something inside me freaks out.  So if you want to call me good - go ahead.  This is one label I will take happily.

Day 2 - Woman

Here we are with day2 of reclaiming who I am.  I chose Woman today as woman has so many different connotations with it.

Most people think of woman and think dresses, high heels, makeup, hair and nails done, cooking/cleaning, taking care of the kids etc etc etc.

Growing up my parents did the typical stuff for a girl - pink and gingham.  However, there weren't girls around where I lived for a long time, just boys, so I ran around with them.  I never got girls and the games they played and most of my friends growing up were guys.

So I'm not the typical girl or woman.  I don't play games, I only wear makeup when I need to, I hate heels and will not wear them and so I don't wear a lot of dresses either.

I will take the part of woman to say I'm caring and love my children and try and see different perspectives.  I do like to cook, just not often time to do it.  I don't like to clean, but it's become necessary for the health of myself and my kids.  I am very kind and caring - sometimes too much so that it can get me into trouble.

Often many times a woman is thought not to be a woman if she doesn't want kids or can't have them.  I think that's a fallacy.  I know at one point in my life I thought that way.  I mean what's the point of being a woman if you can't have kids.  There's so much more to being a woman than just that.  But it's hard to see that during that time when all you can think about is kids.

I would like to think the label Woman is about strength.  Maybe not completely physical like a Man would be, but we have our own type of strength.  I know in losing my daughter I got told I was strong.  Well of course I was, I'm not the type of woman that falls apart in front of people.  I hold my grief in to be a private thing - but often I'm strong for others and help them as they may not be as strong and need that support.

So for me, I take in the following for the label woman:

Strength, emotional, caring, non-judgmental, intelligent, creative, level-headed, supportive, kind, and I'm sure there's more, but with lack of sleep, I'm drawing a blank at the moment.  Regardless, I am glad to be a woman and enjoy every moment - even the bad one.  As we can not grow and learn unless we appreciate all aspects.  #NOLABELS

Day 1 - Mother

A few friends and I are working on a 30-day challenge of reclaiming ourselves.  Too often we get labeled by others or we label ourselves and we think that's all there is to us.  This is a proclamation of who we truly are and we'll be blogging about it for 30 days here in September.

If you want to know more about it - go here:  I AM 30 day challenge and feel free to join us in reclaiming yourself.

So for day 1 I have chosen the label "mother".  Why you ask?  Because it's something I've always dreamed of being.  I have always wanted children and lots of them, but I didn't expect them to come as late as they did.

Mother as a label to me is someone who is loving, caring, teaches children, gives up their dream for their kids, cooks, cleans, June Cleaver anyone?

Well, I so had it wrong.  I am a mother - gave birth to 4 children, 3 which are living.  I try to teach my kids the things I want them to learn - which is to be a good person.  To do that, I have to give up trying to be June Cleaver - because I will never be perfect.  Mother's make mistakes along the way.  There is no guide book to how to do things.  I know I see people that seem to have it all together and do lots of things around the house and crafty things -- that is so not me. 

I love my children.  I show them love.  I show them how to be a better person by example.  By not giving up my dream - but living it.  I show them how to be better people by teaching them how to clean up after themselves and when they're older, going to show them how to manage money and cook and do laundry.  I want them to be functioning members of society.

But I am human as well and get sick and don't have the time to do everything I think a mother should do.

So I'm disregarding June Cleaver and the "perfect" image of a mother.  But claiming LOVE and TEACHING as part of who I am.