Monday, July 28, 2014

Card for Monday, July 28, 2014


Pushing others away is a coping and safety mechanism that is meant to protect when the development of dependence and awareness is in a stage of infancy.

Pushing others away maybe caused from unfulfilled needs such as belonging, security, love, trust, freedom or happiness. There is a need for these things, but the fear of not getting them met, or by not realizing they even exist, keeps these needs hidden from view. The fulfillment comes when the courage is found to look into the mirror and accept what needs to be filled.

One way to keep hidden is with an armor of independence. A role of independence is created to avoid the fear of love, belonging, trust etc. People who act independent are cut off from their true self, their needs, and their feelings. They push others away because they are either not ready to develop healthy attachment and connection to others (and to their own heart and soul), or they don’t know these things even exist.

Because their dependence or awareness isn’t fully developed and they are acting independent, they also tend to secretly expect too much from others and from themselves. When their secret expectations are not met, they will avoid people or situations, either physically or emotionally, as their way of coping with challenges. Rather than asking for and receiving help or extending and sharing themselves, they withhold, reject and dismiss. (Not only with others, but with themselves as well). If they continue to resist their needs and the growth of dependence, they will often end up being isolated and alone.

Another key aspect of resisting needs and dependence is the way one becomes competitive. Their belief is that ‘if the job is going to be done right, it has to be done by me’. They feel that they are better than others, and that no one is ever good enough. They resist help, and rely only on themselves which leads to being alone again. Competition is a way to avoiding true connections; it puts all the emphasis on being right or winning. This can be very damaging in a relationship. Competition can also be used as a distraction from moving forward in their current situation or life.

The card Pushing Away has been drawn so you can look at how your resistance to receive and depend on others is creating the situation or problem you have at hand. Be willing to develop dependence and acknowledge your needs. Respond to your feelings and needs so that you can also accept and respond to the feelings and needs in others without pushing others away or avoiding them.

By acknowledging your needs you will be able to allow the development of healthy dependence and reliance along with the fulfillment of love, trust, attachment, security, freedom and happiness that your soul needs. With this, competition and deadness in yourself and in your relationships will begin to fall away, and you will move into the richness of life that comes with intimacy and connection…with yourself and with others!

No comments:

Post a Comment