Dealing with Adversity

Throughout our lives, we often get adversity in our path.  It's up to us on how we treat that adversity that will affect our life at that moment and in the future.

Now I'm a bit of a control "freak".  I handle things better when I know where it's coming from.  However, there are times you don't always have the "time" to get prepared.  So you have to just go with the flow.

It's those moments that you really get to know yourself.  It's also a pivotal point on how you deal with life in general. 

I have had my moments, probably a lot of them, where I didn't have time to get the information or was put into a situation where I had to react not think.  I think the trick here is not to panic.  Breathing for me is key.  I really work on trying not to react - or react badly to these situations.

Doesn't always happen, but the more I work on controlling the bad impulses, the better I get at it every time another one comes up.

So, my first challenge was a bad marriage.  I totally lost myself there for awhile.  I let him control me.  Which looking back, I'm still amazed that even happened.  Before I met him, I was joyous and happy and knew what I wanted, although a bit naive.  Through bad situations at work and then him constantly whittling away that confidence, I truly had nothing.  Thankfully, he liked to play an online game and I had to as well.  I met people online that I was able to talk to who kind of "woke me up" from what he was doing.  I also had earth angels that helped me when I really needed it.  I eventually left him.

The sad thing was, he was a great friend.  Just not good at relationships.  Or maybe just ours.

The second major thing that happened when I was pregnant my eldest daughter.  During a scan, they found some things that didn't look good for her.  They wanted answers and wanted to do an amnio.  I was alone when it happened.  I luckily breathed my way through that and broke down later.  She then ended up having open heart surgery at 8 days old.  She's had other issues we've had to deal with as well. 

I'm not a religious person, however, I do believe in God and truly believe he doesn't give us anymore than we can handle.  I know that sounds corny - but he knows us inside and out - so he knows what we can handle or not.

I didn't come to this belief until my second pregnancy where my other daughter was born with Trisomy 18 and major health issues.  She died 2 days after she was born.  I look at others who lose before the baby is full term or at birth as well as children dying down the line - there's nuisances in all these scenarios on how the parents must feel.  Regardless - it's still a loss.  No matter how prepared you thought yourself - you're truly not really prepared.

So life keeps throwing things at me and I keep trying to see the positives and lessons from these things and hopefully making the good choices that help me continue on my path the "right" way.